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Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:32 pm
by aalvez
deleted

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 5:43 pm
by guynourmin
I'm not sure if you should or should not cite things in your admissions essay, but if you chose to, you shouldn't do a touch more research. I just googled "teen moms graduate college statistics" and the first thing that came up was, whadayaknow, the National Conference of State Legislators website! On which they state that only 2% of teen moms graduate college by the age of 30. And, very clearly, they attribute that to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

What I'm saying is, citing the NCSL here is completely incorrect.

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 8:49 pm
by zeglo
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Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:08 pm
by spqr351
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Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:44 pm
by emkay625
I wouldn't start with the formal statistic. Just from a pure flow perspective, it makes the thing start off sort of forceful and stiff. It would read much nicer if it was something like:

Most teen mothers never finish high school. But here I am.

Or whatever the stat is. But you get the point. Simple, colloquial.

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:00 pm
by rinkrat19
emkay625 wrote:I wouldn't start with the formal statistic. Just from a pure flow perspective, it makes the thing start off sort of forceful and stiff. It would read much nicer if it was something like:

Most teen mothers never finish high school. But here I am.

Or whatever the stat is. But you get the point. Simple, colloquial.
"Most teen mothers never finish high school. Only a tiny fraction earn a college degree..."

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:07 pm
by spqr351
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Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:18 pm
by zot1
spqr351 wrote:On the contrary, I like the statistic. It gives more power to a statement that would otherwise have a "well duh" factor. It also shows the odds of your even being in this spot.
This is terrible advice. Please don't follow it.

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:41 pm
by aalvez
Thanks for the input, I didn't want to use the statistic if I could figure out how to avoid it. The re-wording advice helps! Thank you all!

Re: Odd question - citing in admission essay?

Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:43 pm
by aalvez
spqr351 wrote:Also, way to beat the odds and persevere until this point. It couldn't have been easy. I am honestly awed by you and I don't even know your story.
Lol, thank you but I'm just a normal person like the rest of you wanting the best for the family I started a bit early.