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Hello, I have revamped my personal statement from last cycle and really did a complete overhaul. Please help me with any revisions or edits you guys see. Please tear it all up as you see fit. Also, I am looking for advice on whether the topic is a good one. I have another one in mind where I completely focus on the Computer Science aspect, maybe a story about my experience as a software engineer. Would that be better? My big fear is that I want to submit my apps as soon as possible, within this week even.

Thanks in advance!


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*edit removed. Thanks for all the hlep

Any help for a brotha?

I think its good. I will say though that make sure it doesn't make you seem like a brand new person from last cycle. Schools want it different but not to where it seems like you completely transformed.

dietcoke1 wrote:I think its good. I will say though that make sure it doesn't make you seem like a brand new person from last cycle. Schools want it different but not to where it seems like you completely transformed.

Although this is my second cycle applying to law school its my first time applying to Berk.

I got some commentary that I might be trying to talk about too many things in my life? Did you get that feeling?

170orDie wrote:

dietcoke1 wrote:I think its good. I will say though that make sure it doesn't make you seem like a brand new person from last cycle. Schools want it different but not to where it seems like you completely transformed.

Although this is my second cycle applying to law school its my first time applying to Berk.

I got some commentary that I might be trying to talk about too many things in my life? Did you get that feeling?

I think your describing the path that led you to be interested in a certain type of law so I think its okay. I would consider cutting the part about your internships and involvement though, it sounds like your listing your resume.

dietcoke1 wrote:

170orDie wrote:

dietcoke1 wrote:I think its good. I will say though that make sure it doesn't make you seem like a brand new person from last cycle. Schools want it different but not to where it seems like you completely transformed.

Although this is my second cycle applying to law school its my first time applying to Berk.

I got some commentary that I might be trying to talk about too many things in my life? Did you get that feeling?

I think your describing the path that led you to be interested in a certain type of law so I think its okay. I would consider cutting the part about your internships and involvement though, it sounds like your listing your resume.

gotcha. So overall you think this PS is just okay? I'm really looking to send in the best one possible. Berk is a reach but my dream school, I know that PS could really make a difference especially for them.

I think your right in that PS matters for Berkeley but Its hard for me to say if this is a great PS. I think you may be able to word things a little bit better but your story seems good.

I would take advantage of the extra space Berkeley gives you compared to other schools to explain why Berkeley. I think you can get the last section that is very resume like and add in some Berkeley specific content.